Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Cartoons Are Bad, M'Kay?

Now we are all familiar with the ABC/Twinkle Twinkle/Baa Baa Black Sheep melody conundrum, which thwarts even the most musically-gifted Devil from singing any of those songs properly, and who among us could blame her? But, courtesy of THAT BLUE TRAIN (a.k.a. Thomas - and this must be shouted when we say it, I don't know why), we now face an even thornier dilemma: Windmills.

Yes, I know, they seem so innocent. And yet...

She: [Watching the opening scenes from Thomas] "What is THAT, Mommy?"
Me: "A windmill."
She: "A pinwheel?"
Me: "It DOES look kind of like a pinwheel, doesn't it? But that one is called WINDMILL. It's a big building."
She: "They spin aroooouuund!" (With arm motions)
Me: "Right! PINWHEELS spin when you blow on them. But WINDMILLS spin in the wind."
She: "It blow the clouds away up the sky?"
Me:"Umm... sure! Exactly!"
She: (grabbing a nearby pinwheel and spinning around holding it) "I blow clouds away! I a pinwheel."
Me: "You're a pinwheel?"
She: "NO, MOMMY." [Unspoken: You idiot!] "A PINMILL."
Me: "A windmill."
She:"PINWHEEL."
Me: "You're a pinwheel?"
She: "A PINMILL!"

...A moment to regain her internal fortitude before battling the obvious stupidity of this mother of hers...

She: "PIN. MILL. Mommy. PINMILL."
Me: "Pinmill?"
She:"NO!!!" [Throws hands in the air.] "Aye yie yie!" [Storms off, disgusted.]

So, yeah. Thanks Mr. English Language Creator Guy!

(Unrelated, but it happened next so you're getting it next, too:)

She gives up on THAT BLUE TRAIN and demands Tom & Jerry ("I LIKE 'poosycats'!"). The opening credits feature the MGM lion. She has seen them roughly 87 gajillion times, and each and EVERY DAMN TIME, shrieks at the top of her lungs, "THAT'S ONE BIG LION!!"

... and keeps shrieking it until I yell it back. EVERY TIME. I am powerless before the wall of lion-based noise and must yield!

Who run Bartertown? (HINT: Not me.)

No comments: